Dear party strategists!
As we hear, some of you have been seen in some cinema hall in the last few days. You might immediately think that the Neos were on “Barbie”. The pink world will be familiar with them. The Greens in “The Moon Bear – The Great Cinema Adventure” because they are quite familiar with the politics of another planet. For the Freedom Party, “Gran Turismo” will take place in the current cinema program, where combustion engines are actually filled with fuel. For the sake of old times, one has to watch the movie “Do You Know?” There will be doubts on OVP. And the SPO can certainly learn good things from “Lassie – A New Adventure” for its new party leader. But no one. My head is spinning because of these short films. First one, then two, now suddenly a trio of sorts.
Therefore, now other films will have to be made and there is a reshuffle in the party headquarters. Because if ÖVP hits the theaters with three short films, other parties should also be successful. “But what film should we make?” This is a big question for the strategists of AAP party. Ideas are thought of, plots are created, ideas are discarded and reconsidered. But it’s like always in politics: you get nothing further.
But friends, there will be plenty of material for filming Austrian politics and its actors! So I allow myself a little help. Since we live in a republic of outrage, I have to say one thing: This is satire! (And yet sometimes you think it might be real)
Let’s start with SPO:
“Babbler – “A Marxist Conquers Excel”
“Kraner – Comrade Anzeiger” (Ms. Crisper in supporting role)
“CORE – Menopause of a Princess”
“SPO – Where’s Bruno?”
“SPO II – Memories of Bruno”
“SPO III – Oh, If Bruno Still Existed”
Ingredients for greenery:
“Kogler – Swearer”
“The Greens – A Life Without Meat”
“The Greens II – Gluing for Life”
“The Greens III – Sex, Especially Now”
“The Greens IV – Last Days in Government”
“Mason – where’s my stinky finger?”
Tips for NEOS:
“Meinal-Risinger – The Story of Hot Wind”
“The Pink Eye – Liberal Completely Abnormal”
“The Pinks II – Suddenly Abandoned”
“The Pinks III – The Opposition Again”
In addition to short films, OVP can also bring to the screen “Neihammer – Die Flex”, “OVP – The Silence of the Countries” or “OVP II – Put the Cell Phone Away”.
My Tips for FPO:
“Kickal – overtaking from right to left”
“Kickal II – Revenge on the Stretch”
“FPO – Three beers on four”
“FPO II – Swearing, media angry”
This will make the year of cinema good. But I think the people of the country are already fed up with your everyday problems. So discard these thoughts immediately and concentrate on our concerns. The upcoming election campaign will be a big film anyway.