This is a woman who knows her own needs and is also able to meet them herself. In other words, this is a woman who knows what she wants from her relationship and life, from herself and her partner, and understands how to get that.
Many women alternate between treating their man like an all-inclusive hotel and like a tampon. In the hotel, they expect to get all “services”, i.e. the satisfaction of all their needs, as a matter of course free of charge for the relationship. He should be a tampon when it comes to plugging her emotional holes. After all, they decided in favor of him and are now demanding this “guilt”. But the men don’t like either and they will turn away from you more and more.
If you discover certain parallels to yourself here, I naturally have a few tips for you:
The most important thing here is to recognize and understand your own needs. Better even write it down! What do I want and what do I need from a man? Is it attention, admiration, caring, gifts, sex, or something else entirely? Is it best to have everything together? Then take a sober look at this list and ask yourself: Is it really fair to ask for all of these wishes from one person? Ask yourself what you are contributing to finding your own purpose in life and your calling. Because if you only get all this through your relationship, or even worse, through your role as a mother and housewife, then there will certainly be a rude awakening at some point, at the latest when the children are out of the house.
I can’t repeat it often enough: only when you are in a state of fullness and satisfaction with yourself can you share special feelings and sensations with your partner, with which you can automatically meet his needs more easily without milking him emotionally like a cow.
Of course, some women will now object: “Why, I already give him so much, from sex in the morning to housekeeping to his favorite foods. If he needs something, I try to read his every wish from his lips. I even go fishing with him and freeze my ass off, put up with his tiresome friends and don’t even get out of hand when the soccer World Cup is on TV. Why is he still treating me coldly and disrespectfully?”
The answer is, once you think you’re giving your husband everything and he doesn’t appreciate it, ask yourself, am I really giving him what he needs, or am I just giving him what I believe is that he needs and expect to respond enthusiastically? Maybe I even repel him with my care or, conversely, with my admiration? He may even prefer to be alone when fishing but is afraid to communicate it because you have made yourself too dependent on him.
So you see, ladies, there is a great danger here of a spiral that could very easily develop in a disastrous direction. Therefore, I think it is essential that we women always first know, develop and satisfy our own needs, and then we are welcome to take care of the needs of our husbands. It will then be much easier for you to take the right measures.
Because I can assure you of one thing: the man you secretly would like to have at your side is also the one who would like to have a strong and independent woman at his side and not a willless satellite.