By not dwelling too much on thinking, one can think that the idea of positive thinking is quite simple. Yet this is not the case: positive thinking is by no means just a matter of choosing the first option among “Glass half full” e “Glass half empty”.
Sometimes we tend to oversimplify things, and then the expression “Positive thought” it automatically translates in our minds into the idea of adopting a light and perhaps a little naive lifestyle.
To transform every negative experience into a positive experience only for the interpretation we give it. Open-theoristically, without a critical spirit, without dwelling on its metabolization.
It doesn’t exactly work like that.
To say that positive thinking means transforming negative thoughts into positive thoughts is an extreme simplification, which works as a slogan but which needs a lot of deepening.
More than a frame of mind, positive thinking is a philosophy.
A complex and articulated method, which is based on the assumption that thoughts are a living and creative material, on which each person has a chance to intervene. Consequently, it is possible to orient one’s mind in a positive direction, opening it to an optimistic and proactive vision of the world and life.
This is a result that can be obtained with the most disparate techniques. For example, the repetition of “Statements”, improvements we want in our life or situations we want to experience, to orient the subconscious. Then there are the techniques of creative visualization and meditation, which are very interesting and practicable.
This, however, as regards what we want to live in the future, and the positive orientation we want to give to our life. But what about the past?
How can we transform a negative experience already lived into something positive?
Well, at the risk of making a reasoning as unpopular as it is obvious, let’s throw the mask right away: the events of our life are not necessarily positive.
Certain experiences are negative, with no ifs and buts. It is unrealistic and naive to pretend to transform them, in our mind, into something positive only by desiring it, forcing ourselves to think of that event as if it were something positive.
This does not mean that it is not possible that the repercussions of that event on our life cannot be positive!
It just means that it takes commitment and detachment for this to happen.
Just to give a very simple example, let’s assume that our partner leaves us after cheating on us. We will be shocked, and rightly so. There is no way that such an experience could be positive, right?
Probably, however, due to that traumatic experience we will have freed ourselves from a toxic relationship that would only have made us suffer. Surely, then, we will be more inclined to welcome a more honest and empathetic person into our life, who no longer makes us suffer. We will try to build healthier relationships, and we will also have realized that we can survive even the most bitter disappointments.
In short, there is no way to transform a negative experience into a positive experience … but depending on how we live it, even that negative experience can bring something positive into our life! In this sense we speak of positive thinking.
There are some tricks that we can adopt to better live negative experiences or reinterpret them in a light of positivity. Let’s see some of them.
Give yourself the right time!
One of the things you absolutely must not do in the aftermath of a bad experience is try to react immediately. Usually the reactions we put in place are reckless, risky and certainly not well thought out, when we act too soon, and it is very easy to understand why.
We are human beings, we have a complex emotionality and a refined sensitivity. We are not machines to be restarted with a couple of cables and a petrol can.
We need to understand ourselves, our feelings, to metabolize the suffering, disappointment or anger we are feeling. To do this takes time, and the ability to look within with enough humility to understand that we are not made of steel, and that certain blows, if they don’t break us, mark us.
Generally, a magical day arrives when, after having given enough vent to our feelings, we wake up and find ourselves able to think about what happened with detachment and lucidity. Now is the right time to react.
Don’t spoil your mood!
Let’s say you’ve had a bad day at work, but have a date with friends for an evening that turns out to be as enjoyable and fun as few others. You have two options.
You can carry the negativity that you have accumulated during the work day with you and don’t enjoy the evening with your friends.
Or you can take a deep breath, understand that work and friends belong to different spheres of your life, and enjoy your evening as you deserve.
It is certainly not a question of indifference. Sometimes life presents us with details that can potentially change our lives for the better: they are there, in front of us. It is up to us, however, to be able to grasp them!
During the evening with your friends you may meet the love of your life. Do you want to miss it because you had a bad day at work? I really do not think so!
The meaning of an experience is always subjective!
Two people involved in the same event do not necessarily attribute the same meaning to it. It’s like playing a card game: the game is the same for all participants, but only for one it will be a victory. For everyone else it will be a defeat.
This simple example suggests that we can (and must) be very free about the meaning we give to an event, without being influenced by the perception of others. We don’t belittle an experience just because others minimize it. Let’s not beat our chests if others around us feel they have to.
We attribute the meaning we feel we must attribute to the experience we have lived in a totally personal way: it is the only way to understand it fully and make the most of it.
There is always something to learn. Always.
But always always! And this is exactly the real positive side of a negative experience in the end. The ability to learn from it, to never give up, to let the obstacles that life puts in front of us do not stop us, but make us stronger by the mere fact of having overcome them!
And basically this is probably the very essence of positive thinking.
What makes the difference in life is the ability we have to equip ourselves against adversity, and not in terms of armor or shield. Closing is not a solution. Welcoming what arrives with positivity, with a smile on your face, with confidence: this means knowing how to respond to adversity.
Because life is one, and it’s beautiful, and it would be a waste to pass it sulking or expecting catastrophe around every corner.
Much better to enjoy it all for what it is!
Joy is such a broad and personal concept that sometimes it risks getting out of hand… yet we spend our entire lives chasing it, and we have every reason for it!
To begin to cultivate it the habit of Joy through a Conscious travel discover the episode of Franco Nanetti’s La Svolta School: you will discover a unique point of view to live everyday life, which can serve you forever!